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A pre-Christmas lunch


The other day my wife Evi and I were invited for a little Italian lunch at our son’s place. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go since my son hadn’t invited my old Mom as well. Of course she wasn’t real easy to handle and of course she didn’t like going out from her old-peoples’ residence too much anyway and be aside Evi and I had had her over at our place the day before. However I was angry at my son anyway. At least he could have asked her, I thought. Well, he hadn’t.


Finally I decided to go to our son’s and his girlfriend’s invitation anyway. It was the last chance to see them and our little granddaughter for a few weeks to come. And, by the way, I felt hungry!


All sorts of educational thoughts where shooting through my mind on our way in the car, but fortunately I shoved them aside and decided to keep my mouth shut as to grandma. I had so often mentioned those things to my son before. Beside my mother had rarely been too much of an interested grandma herself.


We were welcomed very affectionately. My son was quite amazed I didn’t take the elevator up to their 4. floor apartment, but came rather nimbly climbing up the staircase.  After over 20 years on crutches. And as I spun round in sort of a pirouette afterwards in the kitchen, his eyes were shining with joy.

Then, as I watched him cook so very diligently with us shooting the bull and laughing it away, still those educational thoughts popped up in my mind.


Eventually I decided to sit on the balcony for a self-rolled cigarette. These moments of retreat were usually the times when I would hear my inner voice with special ease. I put on my jacket and my woolen cap.


When I had finally settled down on a very low plastic seat on this tiny and lofty forth-floor balcony puffing away happily, again those educational thoughts came shooting by and seemed to want me to figure out a good way to formulate my critical statements toward my son. Thank God, my inner soul’s Voice or say Universal Intelligence was there too and told me something completely different:


“Take it easy”, She said, “get that clear: there is nothing missing here. All is perfect.”

A big black crow was flying majestically across the cold blue Bavarian sky.

“Just think of your mother. She’s perfectly fine where she is, with all those pre-Christmas events going on in her residence. And besides, did you forget? … There is no such thing as separation through space and time anyway!”


Instantly I deeply felt the innate perfection of life.

There is no such thing as separation. Through nothing! Nobody is apart!

There is only this one very instant of perfect life flowing and extending through each and every one of us. No negative past is of any relevance here. Except to make us forget what we never wanted to forget! And what everyone tries so very hard to remember: this beautiful, powerful flow of Unconditional Love.


Wow, how happy and thankful I was!


And what a great Italian lunch we were to enjoy!

With nobody missing and everyone there …


I could almost see my mother smile!



Christoph Engen, Dec. 26th 2013